


your mess is mine

by starryeyedauthor



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Riverdale, Trigger Warning: Mental Illness, honestly its just fluff, its wholesome good cheesy fluff, rooftop hangout, sneaking into school after hours?, southside serpents, supportive friendss, supportive serpents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 02:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedauthor/pseuds/starryeyedauthor
Summary: In which the reader hits a low point, and her friends come together to show her how much they care.





	your mess is mine

 

You let out a sigh, burrowing yourself further into the blankets on your bed as you scrolled through your phone, the screen making you squint your eyes in the darkness of your bedroom. There were a few texts from your friends, wondering how you were feeling, if you were going to come to school tomorrow, etc.

 

It made you feel even worse that despite how much you loved them, despite how badly you wanted to reassure them that you were okay, you couldn’t bring yourself to type out a couple of responses. You let the phone drop to the floor, turning over and sinking into a different pillow, trying to ignore the heavy weight on your chest. 

 

You wished you could at least bring yourself to cry, to let out some sort of emotion so you could feel some sort of relief, something to lessen the dark and looming feeling. 

 

Closing your eyes, you willed yourself to fall asleep. You hadn’t been awake for very long, but the reprieve of being unconscious was the only thing you wanted right now. Pulling the blankets up to your chest, you exhaled slowly, trying to push all the thoughts out of your head. 

 

You woke up less than an hour later, the sound of your bedroom door being opened making you blink sleepily. Your back was to the door and you didn’t move, hoping whoever it was would assume you were still asleep and go away.

 

“Y/N?” A voice asked quietly, one you immediately recognized as Toni’s. 

 

You sighed into the pillow, still not moving as you heard a few sets of footsteps follow her, the bed creaking as someone sat down. 

 

Caving in, you finally turned around, pulling the blankets over your face so they could only see your eyes, knowing you probably looked like crap. 

 

“Y/N,” Toni sighed sympathetically, scooting closer to run a hand over your leg, the part of you she was closest to. 

 

You glanced at Fangs, Sweet Pea, and Jughead, all standing by the door with varying expressions. Fangs looked sad, Sweet Pea looked fed up, and Jughead looked uncomfortable. 

 

“You’ve been at home, probably in bed, for the past week,” Toni stated matter of factly, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at you. “We wanted to give you space, but enough is enough girl. It’s time to get out of bed and join the world again.” 

 

“I just want to say that I was completely against invading your privacy like this,” Jughead announced, leaning against the doorframe and shooting everyone else pointed looks. 

 

His expression softened when he looked at you, wearing a teasing smile so you would know he was kidding. “But you look like hell, Y/N. And I feel like you could definitely use a shower.”

 

“Fuck off,” You groaned, rolling your eyes and fighting a smile as they all snickered. 

 

“You either get up, get into the shower, and eat the takeout we so kindly brought over,” Sweet Pea informed you, taking a few steps closer, his form towering over the rest of you. “Or we drag you out of the damn bed. You know I’ll do it.” 

 

You glared at Sweet Pea, suddenly having enough energy to make an actual expression. Only Sweet Pea could irritate you into getting out of bed when you were at your worst; it was both endearing and infuriating. 

 

“Y/N,” Fangs repeated, an amused expression on his face as he watched you glare at Sweet Pea. “We got food from your favorite place, come on.” 

 

“And then I can get back in bed?” You asked, your words muffled underneath the comforter. 

 

They all let out various sounds of complete refusal and you sighed, closing your eyes and leaning back against the pillow. 

 

“For fucks sake,” You heard Sweet Pea mumble before the blanket was completely ripped off. 

 

“Sweets!” Toni shrieked, your eyes flying open as you sat up and chuckled a pillow at him as hard as you could. 

 

“Oh my god dude, what if she wasn’t dressed,” Toni scolded, picking the fallen pillow up just to hit him again. 

 

“It’s nothing we haven’t seen before,” Sweet Pea defended, rolling his eyes as he yanked the pillow out of Toni’s hands. 

 

“This just proves that I’m right whenever I say the five of us are  _ way  _ too comfortable with each other,” Jughead mumbled, adjusting his beanie with a grimace.

 

You finally got up, muttering in annoyance as you grabbed a clean towel and headed to the shower, leaving the door unlocked and figuring Toni would come in at some point. 

 

Though you would never admit it to your friends, the hot water felt so good on your skin after so many days of barely leaving your bed. You still felt that hollow feeling in your chest, somehow still exhausted after days of doing nothing but sleeping. 

 

The door opened and you could hear Toni setting a few items down before she plopped down on the floor, the curtain the only thing separating you two. 

 

She was quiet for a few moments before she spoke, her voice soft. “You ready to talk?” 

 

You didn’t answer, busying yourself with shampooing your hair, trying to focus on your roots instead of the way you wanted to cry over Toni’s thoughtfulness. 

 

“When you want to talk, I’ll be here,” Toni said, completely unbothered by your refusal to respond. “No matter what, Y/N. You have all of us.” 

 

You blinked back tears and cleared your throat, finishing up quickly before quietly asking Toni to hand you your towel. 

 

You dried yourself off and smiled softly when Toni nodded towards the outfit she had brought you. “I know you’ve been in sweats for the past few days, but it’s time for real clothes. They’re still comfy, don’t worry.” 

 

“Thanks Toni,” You murmured quietly, water dripping off the ends of your hair. 

 

She waved a hand in the air, giving you a sweet smile before leaving you alone to get dressed.

 

You dropped the towel and pulled on the clean and underwear, followed by a pair of leggings and a comfy oversized sweater you had probably stolen from one of the boys. 

Brushing out your hair, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, taking in your dull skin and the redness of your eyes framed by alarmingly dark circles. You were too tired to put makeup on, and the idea of facing any questions your friends might have made your hands shake. 

 

There was a knock at the door and you took a deep breath, opening it to find Fangs standing there with a box of Pad Thai, a cautious smile on his face when his eyes found yours. 

 

“Just one thing at a time Y/N,” He murmured, holding the takeout container to you with one hand and reaching out with the other to slowly encourage you to step out of the small room. 

 

You did so with a reluctant smile, following your friend and hoping you wouldn’t let anyone down today. 

* * *

Sharing a meal with your friends wasn’t as big of a challenge as your mind had made you feel like it would be, with Sweet Pea and Jughead bickering hilariously, Fangs cracking silly jokes, and Toni updating you on the random events you had missed at school. 

 

All of them were actively trying to keep you distracted (that much you knew) but it was something you appreciated, a soft warm feeling growing in your chest, every laugh dulling the ache you still felt. 

 

When everyone finished up, Jughead hopped off the counter he was perched on, saying something about starting the truck as Sweet Pea lifted up a giant duffel bag. 

 

Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your friends in confusion, a slow wave of panic washing over you. 

 

“We’re getting you out of the house for the night,” Toni explained, taking your hand in hers and giving it a comforting squeeze. 

 

You sighed softly, rubbing a hand over your face before deciding that you owed it to your friends to at least make an effort. No good would come if you locked yourself in your room again.

 

“A little fresh air will do you some good,” Fangs chimed in, smiling happily when you got up and slid your jacket on. 

 

“Atta girl,” Sweet Pea called out, grinning at you proudly and nodding towards the door. “Lets motor.” 

 

You locked up at the door behind you before following your friends into Jughead’s dad’s truck, you and Toni joining him inside while Fangs and Sweet Pea hopped into the bed of the truck, pushing each other and laughing boisterously as Jughead pulled out of the trailer park. 

 

“Where are we going?” You asked, watching Toni fiddle with the radio, searching for a song that didn’t suck. 

 

“It’s a surprise,” Sweet Pea shouted through the tiny window between them all, somehow having heard you over the static hum of the radio. 

 

“Dude, Y/N hates surprises,” Jughead pointed out loudly, rolling his eyes and swatting Toni’s hand away from the radio before settling on the only station he liked. 

 

“We’re going to the roof,” He went on to reveal, glancing away from the road to smile at you, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made you snort, relaxing immediately and knowing exactly what he was talking about. You were suddenly hit with relief, glad that your friends knew you well enough that they didn’t take you to the Wyrm or the quarry, likely knowing you weren’t in the mood for other people.

 

Vance Joy started playing and you glanced up in surprise, the song giving you a familiar jolt of joy. 

 

Toni took notice of the look on your face, leaning into turn the sound up, not stopping till the song was blasting. 

 

_ “Do you like walking in the rain? _

_ When you think of love, do you think of pain? _

_ You can tell me what you see _

_ I will choose what I believe” _

 

* * *

You sat on the roof with a tiny smile, watching as your friends passed around a cheap bottle of wine, a disgusted look on Sweet Pea’s face as he took a large swig. 

 

“Damn, Fogarty. This is the last time I ask you to get the booze,” He muttered, dodging Fangs’ teasing punch with a smirk. 

 

You had all snuck up onto the roof with ease; sneaking into Southside High and creeping up the stairs before finding the usual window, popping it open and swinging onto the ladder right next to it. One by one, you had climbed up the ladder and got onto the roof, a spot that not many Southside High students knew was accessible. 

 

It was also one of the tallest buildings on this side of town, granting you with a surprisingly beautiful view that showcased the long roads leading outside of Riverdale. 

 

Sweet Pea had opened up the duffel bag and set down a ridiculous amount of blankets while Toni had set up her mini speaker, letting soft indie music sound throughout the space, a playlist you realized was made up of most of your favorite songs. It was a tiny action that made you feel so good inside, but somehow the feeling was followed by guilt. You had such amazing friends, people that only wanted the best for you, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy. It was like you could never hold onto the good, always finding the bad in every situation. 

 

“Hey,” Sweet Pea chided, walking over to you and handing you the bottle. “Wipe that frown off your face.” 

 

“Not that alcohol’s the way to do that,” Jughead pointed out, giving Sweet Pea a look and rolling his eyes when he flipped him off. 

 

“No, but  _ we  _ sure as fuck are,” Sweet Pea said, sitting down next to you and throwing his arm around you. “We have you, Y/N. No matter what.” 

 

His words should have been comforting, but somehow they were all it took for the dam to break. Your face crumpled and you set the bottle down, covering your face with a hand and trying to stop it from happen, trying hopelessly to stop the sobs that were rising up. 

 

“Oh shit,” Sweet Pea blurted, pulling his arm off you and turning around with an expression of utter panic. “Toni!” 

 

Toni dropped the can of spray paint she had been holding, working on leaving up another snake with the help of Fangs. She rushed over, eyes wide with concern as she dropped down next to you, rubbing your back soothingly. 

 

Jughead came closer and sat against the wall, while Fangs followed, sitting next to Toni and watching you with an expression of alarm. 

 

“Y/N…” Toni murmured, frowning as you sucked in a trembling breath, trying to calm yourself down.

 

“You’re breaking my heart, Y/N. Talk to us,  _ please _ .” 

 

“I-I’m fine,” You murmured shakily, trying to smile reassuringly but failing miserably as large tears rolled down your cheeks. 

 

“People who are fine don’t generally stay in bed for 5 days straight,” Sweet Pea retorted in his no nonsense voice, his expression serious as he waited for you to explain. 

 

“Y/N, you were here for all of our shit,” Jughead announced, trying to make a point from his spot against the wall. “You were there when things with Betty and I got rough and I was drinking myself silly at the Wyrm.” 

 

“And when my Grandpa wasn’t doing so well and I had to wait it out in the hospital,” Toni offered, face pained at the reminder of the stressful day. 

 

“When they were threatening to expel me at school and I wasn’t taking it so well,” Sweet Pea admitted quietly, face scrunched up in embarrassment. 

 

Everyone turned to Fangs who was taking a swig from the bottle of wine, eyes widening when they all turned to him. You almost laughed at the expression on his face, but you were still a mess of tears. 

 

“When I got too caught up doing ‘favors’ for the snake charmer,” Fangs finally said, face turning sour as he thought of the way Penny had trapped him. 

 

“That one was rough,” Toni pointed out, snickering when Fangs flicked her on the leg harshly. 

 

“Look at where we live, look at our lives,” Toni continued, squeezing your hand. “The shit we deal with, it’s dark. It’s okay if you’re not okay.” 

 

“The things that you guys just listed, those are real problems,” You pointed out, wiping the tears from your face hurriedly. “I’m not… I don’t have anything like that to tell you. I’m just- fuck,” You groaned, sniffing and staring down at your lap.

 

“It just happens. One second I’m doing okay and everything’s fine, and then one second I feel like getting in bed and never getting out, and everything feels terrible and heavy and like nothing’s ever going to be okay again. And I feel so fucking guilty, for not being able to keep it together, for not being enough while somehow still being too much.” 

 

The words spilled out of your mouth and by the time you were done, you were crying quietly, your voice breaking several times.

 

“Don’t say that,” Fangs stated firmly, nudging Toni so he could take her place at your left side while she sat down in front of you, your knees touching hers, both of your legs crossed underneath you. 

 

“Don’t ever say that you’re not enough or that you’re too much. You have a mental illness, and it fucking sucks, because it’s hard and it makes you feel bad. It makes you feel like  _ you’re  _ bad, but you’re not, Y/N.”

 

“Exactly,” Sweet Pea agreed, sitting at your right side and facing you, putting his hand on your back and rubbing gently. “We’re a family. There’s nothing you could do that would make us think that. We’re always going to be here, like a really clingy ex-girlfriend.” 

 

You choked out a watery laugh, turning to look at him in surprise, a proud grin gracing his features as he realized he had made you laugh.

 

“This is what we do. If you’re not doing well, if you feel it creeping in again and you start doubting yourself, all you have to do is shoot us a text,” Jughead added, tagging along onto all the pep talks. 

 

“We could have a code word,” Fangs suggested quickly, giving you a teasing grin. “You don’t even have to make an effort. Just text us the umbrella emoji and we’ll be there.” 

 

“The umbrella? Why is that your go to?” Sweet Pea questioned in amusement, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

 

“It’s symbolic,  _ we’re  _ her umbrella. What else are we going to use, the snake? We use that one way too much,” Fangs defended, giving Sweet Pea a  _ ‘duh’  _ look. 

 

A laugh bubbled out of you when Sweet Pea groaned overdramatically and you inhaled shakily, your hand trembling as you wiped your face again. 

 

“I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay,” Toni said quietly, holding your hand tightly between both of hers. “But do you feel a little better, opening up to us?”

 

Your eyes were filled with emotional tears, but they came from a feeling of joy and relief, knowing that your friends had your back, no matter how ugly things got. 

 

“I do,” You murmured, taking in a deep breath and giving them all a soft smile, realizing your face was probably red with swollen eyes to match. “I love you guys.”

 

Fangs was the first to lean in, wrapping you into his big arms and Toni quickly followed, rising on her knees to squish herself into the hug. You heard a grumble about being left out and Sweet Pea joined, his long arms going around all of you as he placed a kiss on the top of your head, and eventually -albeit slightly reluctantly- Jughead finally joined the rest of you, walking over and crouching down to top off the group hug.  

 

“We love you too, if you can’t tell,” Jughead muttered, the sound of a smile evident in his words. 

 

You let out a bright laugh and everyone dispersed, settling back into the usual group dynamic, filled with light hearted banter and spray paint and cheap wine, the sun lowering in the orange sky with every passing minute.

 

Moments later when the same song as earlier started playing on Toni’s speaker, you tilted your head back and grinned, exchanging a happy look with your pink haired friend. 

 

__ “Hold on, darling  
__ This body is yours,  
__ This body is yours and mine  
__ Well hold on, my darling  
_ This mess was yours,  
_ __ Now your mess is mine”

 

Eventually, you all laid down on the blankets, looking up at the now darkened sky from your various positions. Your head was on Toni’s stomach, and Sweet Pea’s was on your thigh while Fangs and Jughead were sprawled out on either side, all of you talking quietly about everything and nothing.

 

Despite the nighttime cold, the warmth of all the blankets and the love of your friends made you feel better than you had in days. And you knew that no matter how many times the cloud over your head grew, the people you loved would be there to help you clean up whatever messes you had. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters, or the song which belongs to Vance Joy.


End file.
